Descent Into the Rabbit Hole

I have descended into the rabbit hole. In this world everything is not what it seems. Black is white. Up is down. Outside is in. My letters to the outside have, so far, been ignored. My fear is people are starting to think I’m insane. Rest easy, friends. My sanity is in check. Perhaps you take me out of context? Here is my chance to tell my side of the story.

It has been a series of events which has brought me here. Maybe I have just grown up or gained an awakening. What I do know is there are things going on in the world that I do not agree with. Yes, I do believe there are people out there purposefully manipulating the masses to gain profit. Do I think they’re aliens or lizzard people? Not really, though I’m always willing to listen with an open mind. After reading and studying historyI have come to the conclusion the “zeitgeist” has been hijacked.

What??? That’s so crazy!!!

Let me try to explain.

First of all, let me just say, for the record, I do not believe in violence. Guns scare the shit out of me, to be perfectly honest. Once I told my dad (who is a retired DPS Trooper) that if someone ever broke into the house I would just go get his gun and shoot them. He turned to me, very seriously, and said that I was not to do that, guns are not toys, don’t ever point a gun at anyone unless you intend to use it. This was his usual speech regarding his gun. See, we always knew where he kept it. It was  never a problem for us because he told us the truth about guns so we knew better.

Even though he carried a gun, I don’t think he liked it at all. My dad never went hunting or anything like that. To me, I think it was just a necessary evil. Do I think he would have used it if he had to? Yes, absolutely. Which would be my position on a gun. If someone were a serious threat to me or my family or anyone, really, I would use one in self defense. The very thought of guns scare me. They’re so powerful, so final. They kill. A gun is a weapon. I wish everyone on earth didn’t have a gun, but they do, and that’s the way it is. Like my dad, I too think they’re a necessary evil.

See, I have to say those things to protect myself from anything I may say. You may think that’s crazy too, but in this world we live in now, being a “”patriot” is akin to being a “terrorist”. My aim is not to overthrow something illegally or joining some weird, way out right field group or stage a coup. That’s so not me. My weapon is my words. My aim is to inform. I believe the only way to change things is to inform the people.

Which is why I have been blasting my facebook with things about the government and the Chinese and conspiracies and I think maybe people may think I’ve gone off my rocker. Taken out of context, sure maybe I have been screaming out to people but it’s because I want them to see what they are not seeing.

I live in this rabbit hole where everything is not what it seems. With this “growing up” process comes trying to figure out who you are and what you believe. I was trying to fit myself into a groove and figure out where I stand on things. Everyone tells me I’m a liberal, but they always say liberals are communists and they want to take over the government. Prety evil. I’m not evil. So what is so evil about being liberal? Isn’t liberal good???? Is liberty not good!? Not in this world.

In this world, liberal is now the new nazi, fascism, communism and socialism. Yeah, I had to go look all that up. I downloaded podcasts, courses on economics, politics and so on.

Conservative. That’s bad, right? That means you don’t like it when other people are outlandish or out of the norm. You want to make them be just like you. You think abortion is bad. You want it to be like it was in the 1950’s where the dad went to work, the mom stayed home and took care of the kids. Change=bad!


Now conservative means you believe in limited government. Well, isn’t that what the founding fathers did with the constitution? Wait, they wanted liberty, right? But I thought liberals were communists… and on and no and on and on.

After going round and round I finally figured out that grooves suck. A whole new vocabulary is being created to accomodate people like me, “Classical Liberals”. Whatevah! I can see where a girl like me could be so confused. There have been studies on human behavior done by the government and others regarding this. Think about it. What used to be the War Department is now the Department of Defense. It’s a play on words used to make things sound more friendly so people will accept them.

It doesn’t take a genius to realize things are messed up, right? Once you focus your attention on what is going on outside of the realm on television or entertainment it’s easy to see. It’s very hard to do, I know. The easy thing would be to stop paying attention again and go back to being absorbed by life on TV. Believe me, I was. Every single Thursday I would watch “Must See TV” and I do love Law and Order.

Maybe you could say September 11 changed my life. Perhaps. Or maybe my struggle with having to be hospitallized after being overprescribed zoloft then turn around and have to be hospitallized after a reaction to Abilify changed me. Then there is the whole NTTA debachle, the story in the Ft. Worth Star Telegram about it. I don’t know. But here I am.

I have never been one to take things at face value. I always question authority. I question God, for Christ’s sake (lol). I question, that’s me. When a doctor tells me I have something you better bet I’ll research it and then decide if they’re right. When I was younger and I saw JFK I thought it was  not beyond the realm of possibility that there could have been a conspiracy. I did not go along with Bush, jr’s “axis of evil” propoganda. I just didn’t get it. I still don’t get how people out there regard GWB as if he’s some God because he’s Republican.

I can not just blindly take something on faith. I must know for myself. I do not blindly follow a political party, a sports team or anything else. I have learned that humans are not all good or all bad. To err is human, right?

Then why, why!!???, do so many people fall in line?

Well, first of all, I can see for my own eyes that JFK’s head flew back not forward. That reason alone is enough for me to think there may be another shooter. I saw it with my own eyes. I’m not a scientist but I know if you hit something it will go the opposite way.

I have seen enough demolitions of buildings to know one when I see it. You can not tell me it’s beyond the realm of possibility that at the very least September 11 was allowed to happen.

I know people who say the government could never be so evil, but what is the government? Is it a benevolent God? No. The whole lot of the government is made of humans, who are fallable. How many times in history have bad people gained power in government? So many you can assume that’s the normal progression of mankind. When Jesus was alive he was revolutionary in his thinking and he converted a lot of people to his way of thinking. He was a threat to the masters because he said you can not buy forgiveness of sins. He said NOT to go to temple and give them money and that was a direct threat to the power structure.

Open a book. It’s pretty textbook.

WWI. Germany in ruins. People starving. Man comes and promises change. People buy in. Slowly he tightens noose. Takes their guns. Closes communication and travel. Starts cleansing the population.. and then they woke up and found themselves living in Nazi Germany. You think we’re beyond that? You think America was bestowed upon the earth by God almighty and is beyond all that do ya?

This has happened countless times through all the ages of man and somehow we think America is immune.

Someone said the other day they didn’t think the founding fathers were relevant anymore.

If that is so then let’s just throw it all out and call it what it is. Let’s stop pretending we’re living in a free democracy where everyone has equal protection under the law because we all know it’s not true. What we live in now is called fascism. Whether or not there is a “ruling elite” class the one thing we all can agree on is corporations have a lot of pull in our government. If you look closely you can see they are intermixed now. The people obviously tell congress one thing and they do another with no regard to their constituents.

We vote one person in for president, another takes the office.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know, and I think we all sense, that something is amiss.

Then there is all the people who think Sarah Palin is qulified to be the president, what???

All of us are so sold on appearances. I am also guilty. I supported Obama too. What a sucker I am.

So, the easy thing for me to do is to put my head in the sand and give up. Then I can be taken care of by the new socialism, a.k.a. fascist nation. Isn’t that ok? I’ll get by. We’ll still be ok. Sure, we’ll get by.

I can’t do that. I want to make a difference.

“Let it not be said that we did nothing” Ron Paul.

I never thought I would say I agree with the “right wing” but if that is where the liberty is, that is where I’ll be.

I do believe in helping those who need it. I don’t believe in career wellfare. I do believe in equal opportunity. I think we should all have a fair shot. I’m not rascist. I do not want to deport all the illegals or whatever.

I just don’t want to go to jail for a crime I didn’t commit. I don’t want to have to prove myself innocent after being found guilty. I don’t want my habius corpus to be taken away… certainly I do  not want to rot in jail. I want everyone to get along and stop fighting each other and realize it’s all a game.

Gosh. I just wish I could open everyone’s eyes. I don’t believe anyone has a right to tell anyone else what to believe, what religion to be, where they can build their church or mosque, whether or not they can marry, serve in the military, say mean things to each other or any other constitution violating thing. And I do believe that maybe healthcare could be provided for those who need it, but I do not believe the government has a right to force people to buy it under the guise of free healthcare for all.

Anyway, that’s my story. So here’s my blog. I will rant and rave here and maybe I’ve explained myself and I can lay off the few lines of facebook. I think it can be pretty easy to become Chicken Little real quick and if I desire to effect change people have to at least be able to take me seriously.


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